Here at FindSportsNow, we consider ourselves masters of the sport and recreation universe. We pride ourselves on being experts on anything anyone has ever wanted to do for fun in their free time. Rules for underwater hockey? Easy. Fun drinking games with darts? No prob. The origins of ditangquan boxing? Simple.

At least that's what we thought until today. For today we found something that even our top minds can't decipher. Something so confusing that in trying to understand it, we've blown 3 laptops, a server and oddly enough, a couple of microwaves. This bewildering game we speak of? Bridge. Yeah. That card game your grandma plays with the ladies in her building. After hours (literally) of examining the rules, this is what we've managed to piece together....

Four players sit down and form two partnerships. Compass directions are used to refer to each player. For example your friend Tim. He's not Tim anymore. He's East. And your homegirl across the table, Lisa? She's South. New names in hand, we proceed. The dealer gives each player 13 cards. Players now begin the auction. We think this is where you and your partner start boasting about how good your hand will be, while at the same time ripping on the opposition's hand.

Example: My hand be Facebook, your hand be Friendster.

Once an adequate amount of smack has been talked, your partner puts his/her cards on the table face-up. We're not really sure why, though we suspect it's a way of taunting the opposition. Then you start Uno-style throwing cards in the middle of the table. If you throw an eight of hearts, your boy Tim needs to throw a heart higher than your eight. Things proceed like this until someone can't throw. If that sucka is your opponent, you win that hand. The hand is awarded a score based on card value, players' age, batting average, time of possession, rebounds, Saturn's position in relation to Earth's and number of congressman representing the state in which the game is taking place. This continues until everyone is tired (or confused), and you declare a winner.

Somewhere in the game, there are also travelers, caddies, pickup slips, dummies and declarers. We're not sure where, how or why.

Our advice? Call your grandma.