Last week, Bengals WR Chad Johnson officially changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. FindSportsNow thinks the new name will be great. But knowing Mr. Ocho Cinco as well as we do, we've gone ahead and prepped some suggestions for his next name change.


Fünfundachzig
Sure. 85 sounds cool when said in phonetic Spanish. But how about the German equivalent? See that umlaut? Certainly didn't hurt Mötley Crüe. Vince Neil still gets women, and he looks like what Keith Richards' mouth tastes like after downing a pound of Indian buffet and a pack of cigarettes before passing out with his tongue on a dead chupacabra.

GMail
SportsCenter would love it. "Palmer forwards it to GMail. Touchdown! Too bad no one CC'ed the cornerback on that one!"

Sex Panther
Shirts could say, "Made with bits of real touchdown, so you know it's good." Wait! How about, "60% of the time, he catches passes...
every time."

He Hate Me

It's time someone honored the XFL, the greatest invention of the 21st century except for the McGriddle.

FindSportsNow - If Chad doesn't take Fünfundachzig, we will.