In recent years, humanity has caught some tough breaks: Al-qaeda, Dancing with the Stars, Scott Baio, etc. Fortunately, there is a silver lining. That's right, the career deaths of Scott Stapp, Ja Rule and Fred Durst.


For years this trio assaulted us visually and audibly to an extent that we can't possibly understand. Stapp with his Eddie Vedder for retards vocal stylings, Ja Rule with his never ending Ashanti duets and Durst with his, well, you can pretty much pick one. How about red Yankees hats, the video for "Nookie," or including the phrase "Chocolate Starfish" in an album title?

As happy as we are about these deaths, we can't help ourselves from reaching out to these fallen stars with suggestions on how to fill their new-found abundance of time.

For Mr. "Arms Wide Open," we suggest Ashtanga Yoga, a form of yoga known for the distinct postures one takes. What better activity for a man who could list "impressive Passion poses" as a skill on his resume? All the bending and stretching may also stave off the ever-dreaded fat Elvis period.

Ja Rule, long the poor man's DMX, posed quite a challenge to the great minds at FindSportsNow. How can a gremlin like Ja do anything athletic? He's like 3'7" and 55 lbs. After ruling out all sports that involve strength, speed or any sort of physical talent, we were at an impasse. We started to look at our subject a little closer, and tried to figure out what he excels at, outside the sporting world? A pie chart, two cartons of cigarettes and a bottle of Nyquil later, it hit us. Ja excels at one thing - mooching off the talent of others. This being the case, we'd think Ja would absolutely Holla about being a jockey. This way he can continue to ride on the back of someone stronger, faster and better, without missing a beat. It's Murder!!!

That finally brings us to Fred Durst. What sport could we find for someone who wants to, "break your f*ckin' face tonight"? No, not MMA or boxing. Too obvious. For Durst we'd like to suggest the fine sport of horseshoes. Why? It takes little to no talent to play (a huge plus for the epically useless Durst), but still flirts with violence (all the tossing of heavy chunks of steel). If things start to go south he could always take the horseshoe and stick it up your YEAH, stick it up your YEAH, stick it up your YEAH.

Interested in joining these D-listers? Use FindSportsNow to find these sports in your hometown.

FindSportsNow - Even useful to pop culture's punch lines.

Note: We at FindSportsNow are eagerly awaiting official confirmation of the career deaths of Kid Rock, Ashlee Simpson and Nick Cannon.