The Incredible Hulk looks cool, but FindSportsNow is avoiding it for a few reasons:


1. No matter how talented the actors and director are, a Hulk movie will always hinge on the look of the Hulk himself. In this movie, like in the Ang Lee version, the Hulk looks like a big crappy hunk of CGI. We're not bashing CGI or anything. We think it, along with WiFi and the iPhone, are the best things in the history of humanity. The thing with CGI is, we're not yet at a point where humans or human-like beings (like the Hulk) look realistic. CGI can make a great clownfish, or toy cowboy, or ogre, but still can't create a human that doesn't look like an alien (see: Final Fantasy).


2. Edward Norton is a punk. Seriously. We can't think of anyone in Hollywood that we'd like to smack in the face more than Edward Norton. He made a few good movies when he was young, then decided to start being a dick. It's like after Fight Club he decided to change his profession from actor, to surly guy. If all this isn't convincing enough, how about his long-term romance with Courtney Love. Courtney f'in Love!

3. We acknowledge the Ang Lee version was pretty close to horrible, but we still hold massive amounts of respect for Eric Bana, who with the exception of Clive Owen, is the most electric man on earth (see: Munich). Replacing Bana with Norton is on par with the replacement of the first Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince, with the second. And yes, we know he didn't want the role. But in our minds, he did....and Norton sucker punched him.


4. No matter what type of film is being made, Nick Nolte will make it better. Period. Sure, he's a little bit nuts, and we're still kinda confused about how he managed to turn himself into lightning at the end of the Ang Lee film. But, his sweaty, pissed-off demeanor adds something to every film he's appeared in, and makes even the worst films, watchable (see: Blue Chips).


5. A lack of Jennifer Connelly has never helped anything. This blog is better just by mentioning her. Keeping this in mind, what
happened with the new Hulk film? Liv Tyler instead of Jennifer "Supersexy" Connelly! Liv is definitely hot, but more Weezer hot* than anything. The last time we were impressed by Liz was Armageddon, which was what? 1998? Jennifer Connelly on the other hand, was hot in The Rocketeer, Requiem for a Dream, and Blood Diamond. That's like, 15 years of hotness. Even better it's period piece hotness, drug addiction hotness and Africa hotness - an impressive trifecta.

*Weezer hot - when someone's reputation for beauty is built upon past accomplishments, akin to Weezer's reputation being built upon The Blue Album and Pinkerton

And because of all this, we will not see The Incredible Hulk....unless Edward Norton personally apologizes for Keeping the Faith. Then, we'll see it.

FindSportsNow - You wouldn't like us when we're mad, either.