At FSN we're exposed to some pretty bizarre stuff (see: mattress jousting). As a result, there isn't much that can catch us by surprise. At least, that was the case until a few days ago.

A friend (yes, websites have friends) asked if we wanted to go kite tubing. We're like, "Cool. What's that? Whatever." When we got to the lake, some guy with lots of bruises was like, "Is this your first time?" We're like, "No. Stupid. We do this every day." We thought, "Damn. That's a lot of bruises. He must own an ostrich." A few minutes later, we're in the middle of the lake and the guy with the bruises asks if we'd like to go first. We're like, "Naa. You can go. We just had a taco. Gonna let that guy settle for a few." So our new bruised friend climbs aboard a giant tube and says, "My phone is in the front. Call my mom if anything happens." We're like, "Sure. Freak."

We grabbed a seat as the boat started moving. Bruisey held on tight as we started picking up speed. We noticed the tube kept rising in the air. We're like, "Ohhhh. KITE tubing. We get it." For a few minutes, things looked fun and we were excited for our turn. But as the tube kept getting higher, we started to get a little freaked out. Then, it started to act a little weird. It was shifting wildly from side to side and then..... BOOOM/SPLASH/KAPOW. The tube plunged towards the water at like 20000 mph. We started thinking about the phone call we'd have to make to Bruisey's mom....

"Hello. You don't know us, but we're a major sport and recreation website. Yes. Like YouTube (mom's don't know a lot about the internet). Anyways, we just watched your son explode into several different pieces while riding a giant tube. Where is he now? We're assuming the bottom of the lake. Maybe a little bit on the tube as well."

As we were about to make the call (having already checked Facebook Mobile) we saw a set of arms flailing around near Bruisey's impact crater. He survived. Or at least his arms did. We drove over, and there he was, smiling, a little confused and likely covered with new bruises. He climbed in the boat and said, "you're turn."

We slapped him in the face.

Kite tubing is the craziest thing we've ever seen. It should be illegal. If there is nothing else on Earth that you can do instead, use FSN to find kite tubing near you.