Subject: This Season
From: Lebron James
Date: October 27, 2008 11:14:44 AM CST
To: Dan Gilbert
Cc: Mike Brown, Barack Obama, Shawn Carter

Hi Mr. Gilbert. This is Lebron. With the new season starting tomorrow, I just wanted to remind you of how much I want to win. I want to win so badly that I'm taking time out of my day to write you this letter. Do you have any idea how much my time is worth? Each second of my day is worth $470. $470!! Writing you this letter is costing me thousands and thousands of dollars. I'll probably have to do another Vitamin Water ad just to make the money back. Sure, Vitamin Water is delicious and it helps me play my best, but a guy can only hang with Tom Brady for so long. I swear, 15 minutes of that guy and you want to break his legs. I'm serious. If one of those shoots run long I will break his legs clean off. Anyways, that's how much I want to win.

The thing is, sir, basketball is a TEAM game. The league has this crazy rule that requires you to put five guys on the court at all times. Absurd, right? I'll continue because based off the way things have gone the past few years, I assume you don't know any of this. I think they made this crazy rule so you can pass, run plays, create open shots, play defense, and you know, win basketball games. Now that you know this, I was wondering if you would go out and get me some players? Good players. Players who have touched a basketball before, or at least know what one is. As much as I like taking 60 shots a game, it's tiring, and well, I'm not going to make 60 shots a game. Maybe 40. I am pretty freaking good.

Anyways, come the trade deadline I expect to be writing you to thank you for completing the Wally Szczerbiak for Carmelo Anthony deal.

Go Cavs!

Lebron James