Ever wanted to get outside and enjoy some competition but been stopped by the sheer fact that you're out of shape and completely incapable of sustained movement? Who hasn't? Sports are great, but the cramps, nausea and vomiting associated with them leave a lot of us marooned on the couch. Fear not. Consider the following. All are ridiculously fun to play, and don't require a pamphlet-grab at the OBGYN.

Go-Karts
Remember when you were sent careening into the median by the Ford Focus that switched into your lane? It sucked. Your day was ruined and your car looked like Gary Busey. Now imagine if you were both in go-karts? It would be awesome, and afterwards you would both enjoy some pizza and soda at the snack bar. Though, the pizza at those things usually sucks. It kinda tastes like someone hates you. Regardless, it's better than waiting for AAA to arrive.

Softball (slow-pitch)
Imagine if someone took a game requiring incredible amounts of practice and ability and made everything hard about it, suddenly easy. The ball is huge and it's thrown really, really slow. It's like playing basketball against midgets. On a court with 7-foot rims. That doesn't allow running... or dribbling.

Horseshoes
The game of horseshoes was invented like 400 years ago. Minimum. It's awesome and it's something your alcoholic cousin and Sir Isaac Newton have done in common (besides chase women down at the port). You could literally play horseshoes for hours and not move a muscle. We once fell asleep during a tournament, yet still finished a respectable third place. Whatever. The first and second place guys were really good. And were probably awake.

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