Astros' pitcher Shawn Chacon was released this week after choking GM Ed Wade. Released for choking upper management? That was shocking in 1997. Chacon shouldn't be release, he should be embraced! So much so, that here's a list of people we think Chacon should choke next.

1. Kimora Lee Simmons

She married Russell Simmons and got rich. She then divorced Russell Simmons and decided that talent is what made her rich. What she fails to understand, is that hanging out with your kids all day and yelling at your assistants aren't talents. Good news is, she's starting to get fat. Not just fat. Weird fat. It all seems to be collecting in her neck. Might making choking her a little difficult.

2. Mario Lopez

AC Slater was awesome. Seriously. He was. But, that was like 15 years ago. 15 years of hanging onto the bottom rung of the celebrity ladder. How many "World's Smartest Pet" shows can Mario host before his phone stops ringing? Also, how did his hair suddenly get straight?? Why didn't he straighten it years ago? It would have made his competition with Zack a lot less one-sided. A curly mullet is a pretty big handicap when competing for Kelly Kapowski.

3. Spencer Pratt

Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. Mr. Heidi Montag makes our (our, meaning humanity as a whole's) blood boil like none other. He is a miserable being and we wish him nothing but the worst. We're sadly falling behind in the race to create new words to describe how much we loathe him. Saying how much we abhor, detest and execrate Spencer just doesn't cut it anymore. Choking him is the nicest thing we can think of doing.

PS. Whatever clubs are paying Spencer $10,000 for appearances will be burnt to the ground.

4. Joe Simpson

The bleached tips. The earring. Calling himself 'Papa Joe'. Ryan Cabrera. Any could warrant choking. What clinches it is the following quote about Jessica..."She just is sexy. If you put her in a t-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!"

It's OK to talk about a celebrity's boobs. It's less OK when that celebrity happens to be your daughter. Creepy? Yes. Glad we're not Tony Romo? YES!

5. John and Kate (plus 8)

We actually didn't place JK8 on this list for having the worst reality show currently on TV. They made the list for a moment of horror in the opening credits of their show. The moment in question? When Kate rolls over and points her enormously pregnant abdomen at the camera. It's huge. Like six babies huge. We've seen a lot, but her swollen uterus was enough to send us on a frantic Wikipedia search for info on vasectomies.

Honorable Mention: Brody Jenner, David Stern, Victoria Beckham, Eddie Murphy

FindSportsNow - We will choke you, Spencer Pratt. We will choke you.