A few months ago, someone sent us a DVD of a bunch of guys in Paris doing parkour. After finally getting around to watching it last night (being an online recreational sports database is more time consuming than you'd think), we were like, "Damn. Parkour is awesome. It doesn't matter who you are. Doing parkour will make you look cooler."

This is a story about how we were very very wrong....

Still Inspired by last night's entertainment, we decided to parkour to the office instead of drive. We took a deep breath, chugged a 24 oz. Vitamin Water (don't chug a 24 oz. Vitamin Water) and ran down the driveway. Knowing we had to take the most direct rout possible, we headed across the street, towards the neighbor's house. We approached their fence and took a big jump. If the DVD from last night taught us anything, we would easily clear the fence and land in mid-stride on the other side. Perhaps we weren't watching correctly, because our jump took us about 1/24th of the way up. We slithered up the remaining 23rd of the fence and crumbled to the ground. We caught our breath for a good 10 minutes then popped up onto our feet, ready for the next obstacle. Kiddie pool, some loungers and another fence. (Expletive deleted). After spraining possibly both our ankles on the kiddie pool, we cheated and went through the gate. It's OK though, because we looked around first and made sure there weren't any French people watching. Now outside the yard of ligament death and in the alley, we looked towards our next challenge. Dumpster, parked car, two dogs fighting over what we hoped was a bird carcass and an ice cream truck. It was all coming together in our head, Beautiful Mind-style. (Note - It was not coming together at all. In fact, it couldn't possibly be further from together.) We focused, praised Jesus/Buddha/Sean Penn and took off. The dumpster was up first. Nailed it. Feeling good. Most likely, looking cool as hell. Next came the car. Jumped, flew, landed. That's right, landed. But not on the top of the car. Oh no, definitely not the top. After an extended period of thinking we were dead, we looked around and saw where we were. It was bad. Like, Australia bad. We had managed to parkour ourselves right through the car's windshield. Was the driver mad? Yes. Very, very yes. We did manage to tell him that we were simply practicing the beautiful art of maximizing the body's efficiency while in motion, which we think that calmed him down a bit. So much so, that when he called the police, he went along with our story that we were pushed.

We spent the rest of the day in the hospital. Something about massive blood-loss. We're probably not going to parkour again for a while. But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't. Search here for a group near you.