This Week's Installment in FindSportsNow's Guide to Social Interaction is:

The Concert Sweater


Concert sweater? Que? It's kind of a new term we're working on, here at FindSportsNow. Essentially, it's a guy who spends the duration of a band's performance embracing a girl from behind. His arms are usually at, or around the girl's waist, or if a height disparity exists in the guy's favor, they're crossed around her shoulders. When done properly, the guy closely resembles a sweater tied toolishly around the shoulders. One should note that contact does get severed from time to time, but only to: 1) get another drink 2) give the devil salute 3) cheer loudly when the band plays their biggest song 4) pump a fist, possibly while singing. Also, care must be taken to avoid any contact while the sweater is engaged. An accidental push or bump could lead to violence and excessive use of the word, "bro".


Besides the above mentioned , this set-ruining, back clinger can be identified by a number of wonderful qualities. He can usually be found at shows you wouldn't pay for (Coldplay, Foo Fighters, The Killers, Linkin Park, The Shins), but would go to if someone gave you a ticket and you weren't doing anything that night anyways. He doesn't own any albums from the band he's seeing, but really really digs their "Best Of". He's probably wearing a t-shirt he bought a few minutes ago at the merch table. He reacts with boredom and anger in response to any rarities or covers the band plays, as the concert sweater is far more interested in his date's backside than music he hasn't heard before.

FindSportsNow recommends not only strict avoidance, but also mild taunting and drink spillage.

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