It's official. The Cleveland Indians traded CC Sabathia to the Milwaukee Brewers, for four minor leaguers and an undisclosed amount of bratwurst. To welcome CC to his new home, FindSportsNow decided to put together a list of things that make Milwaukee the sexiest place on earth.


1. Socialism
Milwaukee was a hotbed of socialist activity in the first half of the 20th century, evidenced by the election of three socialist mayors. Perhaps CC could run with this, and spearhead a revenue sharing deal between baseball's owners. We think he'd look good carrying a sickle and hammer.

2. PBR

The chosen accessory, beverage, elixir of hipsters everywhere. CC will be swimming in the stuff, as we're pretty sure it comes out of the faucets in Milwaukee. He might even get himself a cardigan and some skinny ties. Maybe he'll get a bike and start dancing to Hercules and Love Affair.

3. Alice Cooper
A regular in Milwaukee, Alice is always quick to offer lessons on Milwaukee's history. For example, Milwaukee is an Algonquin word which means the good land.

4. Drew Carey
Drew Carey does not live in Milwaukee.

5. Charlie Villanueva

The dude has alopecia. You know he'll be looking for a friend.

6. The World's Largest Dinosaur Skull
Scary, huge and in Milwaukee!

7. Prince Fielder
Fielder, who recently became a vegetarian, should be able to point out all of Milwaukee's great salad bars and vegan buffets. Plus if CC is ever feeling down, Prince can tell him about the time his father stole his signing bonus, claiming it was a service fee.

8. Madison, WI
America's greatest college town is an hour and a half away. There is not one thing on earth wrong with that.

9. The National League
CC will feast upon the weaker Senior Circuit like Prince Fielder feasting upon a garden burger.

10. Milwauke Art Museum

That thing is crazy looking. Seriously. Plus, it's the only place in the US to see architect Santiago Calatrava's work.

FindSportsNow - More Milwaukeean than Bernie Brewer's beard